Living

The started with remembering.  I used to sit by the river and the wait for the ducks to come back to me from across the way.  Right now they're gone.  Now momma turns me loose all the time.  She and daddy yell a lot.  Sometimes we go to the woods, and she sings me to sleep.   Like today.  And then I wake up and they're gone.  Then they came back.  "Where do you go." I ask.  "Nowhere." A moment later a man came back and walked up.  Dad looked sad.  Momma's hands curled themselves over the man's shoulders, and she smiled, and he handed her something.  Then he clapped my dad on the back and walked away.  I asked "Who's that." They didn't answer.  My daddy just smacked me in the face.  It hurt really bad, and I ran away from them.  A few hours later they found me sitting outside of Castle Apartments.  Mommy touched my shoulder, and they picked me up and carried me up to our room on the seventh floor.  It was hot and dry in the room.  But we had  fan.  Daddy puts something in his mouth and starts breathing in really hard.  Then momma reaches over and puts it in her mouth.  A moment later they both look happy and they're looking through the walls.  I want to be that happy.  I start to reach for it but mommma slaps my hand away.  "None for you until you do your part."  I pull my hand away and feel stupid and guilty  I go to my room after daddy starts unbuttoning his shirt and tells me to leave, and go to sleep.  So I do.